Word Perhect (No, I didn’t misspell Perfect, that’s what the name is!) is a pretty much pointless online word processor. Absolutely fun to use, Word Perhect is the perfect (pun weirdly intended) tool if you’re looking forward to wasting your time while also jotting down things that may or may not be important. Designed as a funny take on modern word processing applications, Word Perhect’s options and textual elements are deliberately littered with all sorts of spelling and grammatical errors. It lets you find a virtual “object” to write (or more specifically, type) on, from locations such as your pocket, bag or your studio. These “objects” can be anything, ranging from masking tape and the back of a telephone bill, to a bit of card board box and a sleeping bag. You can only write on certain objects, while others are listed there just for fun. Once you’ve written (or typed) something, you can’t actually delete it, as deleting just strikes off the typed content, simulating the effect of text being struck off with a pencil. Though Word Perhect has standard formatting tools, any attempts to use them are met with hilarious response prompts. And that’s just the beginning. Sounds fun? Let’s find out more!
Word Perhect: User Interface
As Word Perhect is a web based application, there are no downloads, installations or anything of that sort. On top of that, you don’t need to create any accounts either. All you have to do is hop over to Word Perhect’s homepage, and start using this thing.
Here’s how the user interface of Word Perhect looks like:
Well, what were you expecting? As stupid as it might look, that indeed is the user interface of Word Perhect. As illustrated by the above screenshot, the user interface makes it clear that Word Perhect is not exactly meant to be taken seriously. It looks as if it’s been hand drawn with a pencil, though at least it looks like word processor. There are two icon based toolbars (standard and heaven knows what) on the top, having standard file (New, Open, Save, Print and Spell Check) and some totally weird (Cup Of Tea, Smoke, Drink, Sleep and Bin) options. There are also text alignment and undo/redo options, but they don’t work, just like half of the other options (more on that later). Down below, the majority of the UI consists of the text editing area, but you can’t type on it. Instead, your text drafting space is limited only to the virtual object that you choose to write on, which is embedded in the text editing area. That’s pretty much all there’s to it. Pretty simple stuff!
How To Use This Pointless Online Word Processor?
Well, I guess by know, it must’ve become pretty clear that you shouldn’t (and as a matter of fact, you can’t) use Word Perhect for any serious writing work. It’s a fun application, designed to be used that way. Here’s a little step by step tutorial anyway, illustrating how to “use” Word Perhect:
Step 1: Head over to Word Perhect’s homepage, and click one or two times to get past the initial information screens, until you see something like this:
Step 2: Next up, you’re provided with a list of all the objects found in the chosen location. Just like in the previous step, select whatever you want to write on to embed it into Word Perhect’s online word processor and start writing on it. Note that you can’t select a couple of objects simply because you can’t write on them (such as a walkman, and batteries). So why are they in the list? Because Word Perhect is pointless!
Step 3: Once you’ve selected the object that you want to write on, you can choose from three handwriting styles (all of which are equally bad looking) and font size. Do that, and Word Perhect should load up, with your selected object embedded in the text editing area.
That’s all there’s to it, folks! Once Word Perhect loads up, simply click on the embedded object and start writing. As illustrated by the above screenshot, the writing is as messed up as it can be. Go ahead and have fun! As mentioned before in the article, most of the formatting options in Word Perhect don’t work, and are there just so you can click on them and read the funny response prompts they throw back at you.
For example, try using the undo/redo options, and this is what you’ll see:
Funny, isn’t it? The undo command tells you to be responsible, as you can’t take back what you’ve written. On the other hand, if you try to redo something, Word Perhect tells you to not be lazy (actually spelled as lagy) and do it again yourself. And that’s just the beginning. So have fun. Try all those commands and see what responses you get!
Word Perhect is a fun to use pointless online word processor, something that its name instantly makes clear. It doesn’t really do anything, except for letting you waste a little time and have some fun in the process. Though not exactly features, but things like virtual objects to write on, inability to delete what you’ve written, and funny response prompts make Word Perhect really worth a try. Add to that the totally childish UI and Word Perhect gets even crazier. Do give this a try, you’ll love hating it!